Adoption: Considering Adoption, Adopted People and Family Support

A permanent court order. Parental responsibility passes fully to the adopters and the birth parents' legal parenthood ends. The child usually takes the adopters' surname and a new birth certificate is issued from the Adopted Children Register.

The child remains legally the responsibility of the local authority or their parents. Foster carers are approved, supervised and paid an allowance. Fostering can be short-term, long-term or emergency, and can lead to permanence in other ways. See GOV.UK guidance on becoming a foster parent.

A child living with a relative, friend or other connected person rather than a parent. It can be informal or arranged through children's services, and legal status varies a great deal — which is why kinship carers often struggle to find out what they are entitled to. Kinship and the Family Rights Group give free, specialist advice.

A special guardianship order gives the carer parental responsibility and the ability to make most day-to-day decisions, usually until the child is 18, without ending the birth parents' legal parenthood. It is often used for kinship arrangements. See GOV.UK: looking after someone else's child.

Scotland uses permanence orders, which can be granted with or without authority to adopt. The practical effect depends on the terms of the order, so it is worth asking the social worker to explain in writing exactly what a specific order does and does not allow.

A step-parent can apply to adopt their partner's child. It permanently removes the other birth parent's legal parenthood, so courts consider it carefully and the child's views matter. Many families find a child arrangements order or parental responsibility agreement achieves what they actually need without ending a legal relationship. Take independent legal advice first.

Governed mainly by the Adoption and Children Act 2002. Adoption is arranged through regional adoption agencies and voluntary adoption agencies. Start with Adoption England, or ask your local council.

Governed by the Adoption and Children (Scotland) Act 2007. Adoption is arranged through local authorities and registered adoption agencies, and cases are heard in the sheriff court or Court of Session. Start with mygov.scot or Scottish Adoption and Fostering.

The Adoption and Children Act 2002 applies, delivered through the National Adoption Service for Wales and its regional collaboratives. Start with Adopt Cymru or Welsh Government adoption guidance.

Adoption has historically been governed by the Adoption (Northern Ireland) Order 1987, with reform through the Adoption and Children Act (Northern Ireland) 2022 being brought into effect in stages. Adoption is arranged through Health and Social Care Trusts and voluntary agencies. Start with HSC Adoption and Foster Care or nidirect, and ask the Trust which rules currently apply to your situation.

You can apply alone or as a couple. Couples do not have to be married or in a civil partnership, and same-sex couples have the same rights as opposite-sex couples. Single applicants are welcomed by agencies and adopt successfully every year.

There is a minimum age of 21 but no upper age limit. Agencies consider health, energy and the likelihood of being able to parent a child through to adulthood, rather than a number.

You do not need to own your home, have a high income, or be out of work. You do need a stable home with a spare bedroom for the child in most cases, and to show you can manage financially. Renting is not a barrier.

Being disabled, neurodivergent, or living with a long-term condition does not disqualify you. A medical assessment looks at how your health may affect parenting over time, and adjustments to the assessment process should be offered. Ask for adjustments in writing early.

Having birth children, adopted children or stepchildren is common among adopters. Agencies consider the impact on existing children, including their age gap with any child placed. Pets are assessed for safety, not banned.

Enhanced criminal record checks are required. Most convictions do not automatically prevent adoption, but specified offences against children and certain sexual offences do. Be honest early — an undisclosed matter found later is far more damaging than the matter itself.

Agencies may restrict placing very young children or children with particular health needs with people who smoke or vape indoors. Weight is considered only through the medical assessment as part of overall health. Neither is an automatic refusal.

Adopters of all faiths and none are welcomed. A child's ethnicity, language, culture and religion are considered when matching, but a child should not wait indefinitely for a "perfect" ethnic match.

A social worker visits repeatedly over several months and builds a detailed report about your background, childhood, relationships, health, finances, support network, parenting ideas and how you handle stress and conflict. It is intense and personal. It is not designed to catch you out; it is designed to work out what a child placed with you would experience.

Expect enhanced criminal record checks, local authority checks, a GP medical, employer or personal references, and checks with any former long-term partners where there were children involved. Tell your referees in advance.

The panel is a group of people including social work, health, legal and adoption-experienced members. It makes a recommendation; a senior agency decision-maker makes the decision. You can usually attend.

Once approved, your social worker looks for a child whose needs your household can meet. You will be given a child's permanence report and health information. Read it carefully and ask questions — including the difficult ones about prenatal exposure, developmental delay, trauma and unknowns.

Introductions are planned over days or weeks, usually starting at the foster carer's home. They are exhausting and emotional for everyone, including the foster carer, who is losing a child they love.

You can ask for the reasons in writing. In England and Wales there is an Independent Review Mechanism you can apply to within the stated time limit, or you can make representations to the agency. You can also complain through the agency's complaints procedure and, for council services, escalate to the Local Government and Social Care Ombudsman (via GOV.UK).

Some approved adopters are also approved as temporary foster carers so a baby or young child can move once rather than twice. It reduces disruption for the child, but the placement may end if the court decides the child should return to their family. It carries real emotional risk and should only be chosen with full information.

Intercountry adoption is a separate, longer and more expensive process involving assessment, Home Office and overseas approvals, and often immigration steps. Read GOV.UK guidance on adopting a child from overseas before paying anyone anything.

Eligible employees can take statutory adoption leave and may qualify for statutory adoption pay, broadly mirroring maternity provisions, with the option of shared parental leave in a couple. Check current rates and eligibility on GOV.UK adoption pay and leave and tell your employer as early as you reasonably can.

Agencies can pay a means-tested adoption allowance in some circumstances, particularly for sibling groups, older children or children with additional needs. Ask before the order is made — it is harder to raise afterwards — and get the answer in writing.

Adopted children count as your children for benefits and childcare support in the usual way. If money is tight, get a free full benefits check from Citizens Advice.

Employees are entitled to paid time off to attend some adoption appointments once matched. Ask your employer's HR team early and put requests in writing.

A child's earliest experiences shape how safe they feel with adults. Behaviour that looks like defiance, control or rejection is often fear. Therapeutic parenting approaches focus on safety, predictability and connection before consequences.

Some children have effects of prenatal alcohol or drug exposure, developmental delay, sensory needs or undiagnosed conditions. Ask for full health information at matching and keep your own records — you may need them for years.

Previously looked-after children in England attract additional funding and support through pupil premium plus and the virtual school head, and there are parallel arrangements in other nations. See GOV.UK guidance, and read our SEND, ALN and ASN page if your child needs extra support.

Children do best when adoption is never a secret and their story is told honestly, in age-appropriate stages, from the beginning. Life-story work, later-life letters and photographs help. Avoid rewriting difficult facts — children usually sense a gap.

Children need to see their heritage valued at home, not just acknowledged. This matters particularly in transracial adoptions, where children may face racism their parents have not experienced.

Many adoptions include indirect contact — often an annual letter exchange through the agency, called letterbox contact. Some include direct contact. Arrangements can be reviewed as a child grows; ask the agency what is in place and who administers it.

Older children and teenagers may find or be found by birth relatives online. Plan for this before it happens, keep the conversation open, and ask your agency for support rather than reacting alone.

Parenting a child who has experienced trauma is demanding, and adopters often delay asking for help. Peer support through Adoption UK and specialist counselling through PAC-UK exist precisely for this.

Tell the agency early. Emergency support, respite and therapeutic assessment are more likely to help before crisis than after. Asking for help is not evidence that you are a poor parent.

The fund can pay for therapeutic services such as creative therapies, psychotherapy and specialist assessments for eligible adopted and special guardianship children. Access is through your local authority or regional adoption agency, not directly. See GOV.UK guidance on the fund, and check current eligibility and limits before planning, as they are reviewed.

Each nation has its own adoption support arrangements through local authorities, the National Adoption Service for Wales, and HSC Trusts in Northern Ireland. Ask specifically for a written adoption support assessment and what services are funded locally.

Adoption UK's helpline and local groups connect you with people who have lived it. Many families say this helped more than anything else in the first two years.

PAC-UK and other specialist services offer counselling for adopted people, adopters and birth relatives. CoramBAAF publishes practice guidance widely used by agencies.

Put the request in writing, ask for a written assessment and a written decision with reasons, and use the agency's complaints procedure. Council decisions can be escalated to the Local Government and Social Care Ombudsman (via GOV.UK) in England, and there are equivalent ombudsman routes in the other nations.

In England and Wales, adopted people aged 18 or over can apply for information to help them obtain their original birth certificate, and counselling is offered — and is required for some people adopted before 12 November 1975. In Scotland the age is generally 16. See GOV.UK adoption records and the General Register Office.

Agency records often contain much more than the certificate — reasons for the adoption, health information, photographs and letters. Ask the agency that placed you, or the local authority that took over its records. Expect a wait, and expect some information about other people to be withheld.

Adopted people and birth relatives can register a wish for, or against, contact. A link is only made when both sides have registered compatibly. See GOV.UK: the Adoption Contact Register. In Scotland, Birthlink maintains the Adoption Contact Register for Scotland.

An intermediary approaches a relative discreetly on your behalf and asks whether they want contact. This avoids an unexpected knock at the door and gives both people a way to say no safely. PAC-UK and other registered services provide this.

Public records and DNA testing can produce fast answers and unexpected ones — including relatives who were never told you existed. Consider counselling first, tell someone you trust, and think through in advance how you would handle rejection, illness or a death that has already happened.

Commercial DNA tests can reveal close relatives and health-related information. Read the privacy terms carefully, including how long data is kept and who it is shared with, before testing.

Be cautious of anyone who guarantees a reunion, demands large upfront fees, or pressures you to act quickly. Use registered agencies and recognised charities, and never send money to a stranger who contacts you claiming to be a relative. See our scams and fraud page.

Relief, anger, grief, guilt towards adoptive parents, and disappointment are all common, sometimes at once. Support before, during and after searching is normal practice, not a sign you are not coping.

Local authorities must make support services available to birth parents, usually delivered by an independent worker rather than the child's social worker. You can ask for this directly.

Where indirect contact is agreed, the agency administers it. Write to the child's age, keep it warm and free of blame, and keep sending letters even when replies are slow — many adopted people say later that the letters mattered enormously.

You are usually entitled to free legal representation in care proceedings. Get a solicitor who specialises in children's law immediately, attend every meeting, and take a supporter with you. The Family Rights Group gives free specialist advice, and Cafcass explains the court process in England.

Register your wishes with the Adoption Contact Register for your nation, keep the agency updated with your address, and consider leaving a letter and health information on file. Health information in particular can be very valuable to your relative later.

Losing a child to adoption is a bereavement without a funeral, and it can resurface years later on birthdays and anniversaries. Specialist counselling exists for exactly this — see PAC-UK — and our bereavement page may also help.

• Is this a council or regional adoption agency, or a voluntary adoption agency, and who regulates it where I live?
• What are your current timescales, from first enquiry to approval, and what usually causes delay?
• What ages, sibling groups and needs do the children waiting with you usually have?
• What training and preparation will I get, when, and is any of it online or in the evening?
• What adjustments can you make for my disability, neurodivergence, shift pattern, language or caring role?
• What is your latest inspection report, and may I read it?
• What support do you fund after an adoption order, and for how long?
• How many adopters approved with you were matched within twelve months?
• What happens if I am not approved, and can I ask for a review of that decision?
• May I speak with adopters already approved by you?

• Photo identification, proof of address and, if relevant, proof of immigration status or right to remain.
• Full address history, and names and dates of previous long-term relationships and any children.
• Names of referees who have known me well for several years, including one relative if asked.
• Employer details for a reference, and a note of my working pattern and any planned leave.
• Consent for a criminal record check for every adult in the household.
• Consent for a health report from my GP, and a list of current medication and conditions.
• A simple household budget: income, rent or mortgage, debts, and what changes if I reduce hours.
• A written note of my own childhood, losses, and how I handle stress and conflict — you will be asked.
• Home safety: stair gates, window locks, medicine and alcohol storage, pets, garden and water safety.
• Who is my day-to-day support network, and who could help at short notice?
• Questions I want answered before panel, written down so I do not forget them on the day.

• May I see the full child permanence report and every available health and education record?
• What is known — and honestly unknown — about prenatal alcohol or drug exposure and family health history?
• What is the child's history of moves, and how many carers have they had?
• Has the child been assessed for additional needs, and is any assessment still outstanding?
• What contact is planned, with whom, in what form, and who manages and reviews it?
• What support package is agreed in writing, who pays for it, and when is it reviewed?
• What therapeutic input is available, and is a support-fund application planned?
• What would make this match wrong for this child, and who decides?
• May I speak to the current foster carer and the child's social worker separately?
• How long do I have to consider this, and may I say no without prejudice to future matches?

• Introductions plan agreed in writing, with dates, places and who is present at each stage.
• Adoption leave and pay confirmed with my employer, with start date and notice given.
• Registered with a GP and dentist, and any existing referrals transferred, not lost.
• School or nursery place discussed, and the virtual school head or equivalent informed.
• Familiar items from the foster home: bedding, toys, smells, photographs, routines written down.
• Bedroom, car seat, buggy, stair gates and safety equipment ready and checked.
• Food likes, dislikes, allergies and the child's usual mealtime and bedtime routine recorded.
• Names and telephone numbers for both social workers, and an out-of-hours number, on the fridge.
• Life-story work and later-life letter promised, with a date for when I will receive them.
• A quiet first fortnight planned: few visitors, no big events, no long journeys.
• My own support: who I will telephone on a bad night, and who brings food in week one.

• Do I have my adoption support plan in writing, and when is the next review?
• Who is my named contact at the agency now the order has been made?
• Has an adoption support assessment been requested, and what did it recommend?
• Is a support-fund application being made for therapy or specialist assessment?
• Does the school know the child is adopted, and is the extra pupil funding being used well?
• Is an education plan, health plan or additional-needs assessment needed?
• What peer support, helpline or local group can I join this month?
• What help exists for my other children, and for me as a parent?
• If support is refused, what is the complaints route and the timescale for a reply?
• What help exists if the placement becomes unsafe or is at risk of breaking down — and who do I call first?

• Which agency or council holds my file, and how do I make a written request?
• What information am I entitled to, and what will be withheld because it concerns another person?
• Is counselling or an appointment offered before, during and after I receive the information?
• Should I use a registered intermediary service rather than making contact myself?
• Have I registered my wishes on the relevant contact register for my nation?
• What do I actually want: information only, a letter, photographs, or a meeting?
• What am I prepared to hear, including that a relative has died or does not want contact?
• Who will I tell before I start, and who will support me on the day the file arrives?
• Have I thought about how this may affect my adoptive family, and when I will tell them?
• Do I want to set a slow pace, with a break between each step?

• Have I recorded my current contact details with the agency or council that arranged the adoption?
• Have I registered on the contact register for my nation, so my wishes are on record?
• Am I using an intermediary service rather than approaching directly or through social media?
• If the person is under eighteen, do I understand that contact must go through the agency and the adopters?
• Is there a court order or agreement that limits what I may do?
• What do I want to offer: information, a letter, medical history, photographs, or a meeting?
• Am I ready for no reply, a long wait, or a reply that says not now?
• Have I written down the health and family information they may one day want?
• Who is supporting me — counselling, a birth-relative support service, or my GP?
• Have I taken advice before contacting other relatives, so I do not disclose the adoption to someone who does not know?

• Is this route going through my own government's official process, with an approved agency?
• Is the child's country a party to the Hague Convention on intercountry adoption, and what does that change?
• Do I have a certificate of eligibility, and have all required approvals been issued in writing?
• Have I checked whether my government currently restricts or suspends adoption from that country?
• Who is asking for money, for what, and is every payment receipted and lawful?
• Is any facilitator promising a fast match, a specific child, or a guaranteed outcome? Treat that as a warning sign.
• Is there independent evidence that the child is legally free for adoption, and were birth relatives properly consulted?
• Do I understand the immigration, citizenship and passport steps, and how long they take?
• What health information exists, and will I have an independent medical review of it?
• What post-adoption support exists at home for a child arriving with a different language, culture and history?
• Have I taken independent legal advice from a solicitor experienced in intercountry adoption?
• If anything feels wrong, who do I report it to — and will I stop rather than continue?