
What to do when someone you love dies
Losing someone is overwhelming. This page sets out, in plain English, what actually needs to happen in the UK — from the first phone call to registering the death, choosing a funeral director, deciding burial or cremation, dealing with wills and probate, and where to find free, qualified help when grief is heaviest.
If you are struggling to keep yourself safe
Call 999 or go to A&E if you or somebody else is in immediate danger, has seriously harmed themselves or may be about to.
For urgent help that is not an immediate life-threatening emergency, use the route for your UK nation:
- England: call NHS 111 and select the mental-health option.
- Scotland: call NHS 24 on 111.
- Wales: call NHS 111 and press 2.
- Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000, free and available 24 hours.
- Anywhere in the UK: call Samaritans on 116 123, free, day or night, or text SHOUT to 85258.
Listening services can help you talk things through, but they do not replace emergency services or clinical care.
- 570,988
deaths were registered in England and Wales in 2025 — bereavement is something most families face.
Source: ONS — Death registration summary statistics, England and Wales: 2025 (published 27 May 2026)
- Within 5 days
is the legal deadline for registering a death in England, Wales and Northern Ireland (8 days in Scotland).
Source: GOV.UK — Register a death
The first few hours
If the death was expected — for example, a person receiving end-of-life care at home or in a hospice — call the person's GP, district nurse or the hospice's out-of-hours number. They will visit to verify the death and issue a Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD).[11]NHS
If the death was unexpected or sudden, call 999. The police or paramedics will attend and may refer the death to the coroner. Do not move the person until you have been told you can.[11]NHS
If your loved one died in hospital or a care home, the staff will guide you through what happens next, including arranging for the MCCD and the release of the body to a funeral director of your choice.[1]GOV.UK
Step 1Register the death (within 5 days)
In England, Wales and Northern Ireland a death must be registered within 5 days; in Scotland it is 8 days. You register at the local register office where the person died — book an appointment online via GOV.UK.[2]GOV.UK
Take with you, if you have them:
- The Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (the registrar may receive this directly from the doctor).
- The person's birth certificate, NHS medical card, marriage/civil partnership certificate and proof of address.
The registrar will give you a Certified Copy of the Death Certificate (buy several — banks, insurers and the probate service usually want originals), a certificate for burial or cremation (the "green form") for the funeral director, and a unique Tell Us Once reference so one phone call updates HMRC, DWP, DVLA, the Passport Office and the local council.[2]GOV.UK
Step 2Choosing a funeral director
You are not obliged to use the first funeral director you contact, and you can move your loved one between funeral homes if you change your mind. Look for a member of the National Association of Funeral Directors (NAFD) or the National Society of Allied & Independent Funeral Directors (SAIF) — both codes require transparent pricing and a complaints process.[8]NAFD[9]SAIF
Since September 2021 the Competition and Markets Authority's Funerals Order requires every funeral director and crematorium in the UK to publish a Standardised Price List, including the price of an "attended" and "unattended" funeral, so you can compare like-for-like before signing anything.[10]CMA
Ask for a written quote. A simple direct cremation typically costs £1,000–£1,800; a traditional attended funeral averages around £4,100 in the UK (SunLife Cost of Dying Report). If money is tight, ask about the DWP Funeral Expenses Payment (for people on qualifying benefits) and the Public Health Funeral, which the local council must arrange if no one else can.[7]GOV.UK
Step 3Burial or cremation — and the alternatives
About 78% of funerals in the UK are now cremations and around 22% are burials (Cremation Society of Great Britain). Both are legal, regulated, and a personal choice — sometimes guided by faith, wishes left in writing, or family tradition.
Burial can be in a churchyard (with the incumbent's permission), a local-authority cemetery, a private cemetery or a licensed natural / woodland burial ground. Plots are usually leased for 50–100 years rather than owned outright.
Cremation requires two doctors' forms (Cremation Forms 4 and 5) unless the coroner is already involved. Ashes can be collected, scattered (with the landowner's permission), buried, or kept. Direct cremation — a simple unattended cremation, with a memorial held separately — has become much more common since 2020.
Other options include donating the body to medical science (arranged before death with the Human Tissue Authority), repatriation if the person is to be buried abroad, and humanist or non-religious ceremonies led by celebrants from Humanists UK.
Step 4Wills — and what happens if there isn't one
A will sets out who inherits the person's estate, who looks after any children under 18, and who is appointed as executor to administer everything. Wills should be signed by the person ("the testator") and witnessed by two independent adults who are not beneficiaries.[4]GOV.UK
The original will is often held by a solicitor, a bank, or the National Will Register (Certainty). If you can't find one, search the Probate Registry's records (free) and check the National Will Register before assuming there is none.
If there is no will ("intestacy"), the estate is shared according to the strict Rules of Intestacy set out in the Administration of Estates Act 1925 — spouses and civil partners are prioritised, then children, then other blood relatives. Unmarried partners and stepchildren do not automatically inherit, however long the relationship.[13]MoneyHelper
Step 5Probate — the legal authority to deal with the estate
Probate (called Confirmation in Scotland) is the legal document that allows the executor to access bank accounts, sell property and distribute the estate. You apply online via GOV.UK or by post (Form PA1P if there is a will, PA1A if not). The fee is currently £300 for estates over £5,000.[3]GOV.UK
Before applying you must value the estate and submit an Inheritance Tax (IHT) return to HMRC. IHT is charged at 40% on anything above the nil-rate band of £325,000, with an additional £175,000 "residence nil-rate band" when a main home passes to direct descendants — so a couple can typically pass on up to £1 million tax-free.[6]HMRC
You don't always need a solicitor — many straightforward estates are administered by the family — but for property, business assets, trusts, disputes or anything overseas it is worth instructing a STEP-qualified probate solicitor via the Law Society's Find a Solicitor directory.[14]Law Society
Step 6Lasting Power of Attorney (and why it ends at death)
A Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) lets a person nominate someone they trust to make decisions for them about their finances or their health and care if they later lose capacity. LPAs must be registered with the Office of the Public Guardian (OPG) before they can be used — currently £82 per LPA in England and Wales, free or reduced for people on certain benefits.[5]OPG
Critically, an LPA ends the moment the donor dies. After death, only the executor named in the will (or an administrator appointed by the Probate Registry if there is no will) has authority over the estate. Many families are caught out by this — keep paying essential bills from your own account and reclaim them from the estate later.
If your loved one had registered LPAs, send the OPG a copy of the death certificate so the LPAs can be formally cancelled.
Step 7Money, benefits and what to cancel
Tell Us Once handles most government bodies in one step. You will separately need to contact: banks and building societies, the mortgage provider, private pension providers, life insurers, utilities, the landlord or leaseholder, subscription services, and any care providers.[12]Citizens Advice
Bereaved spouses or civil partners under State Pension age may be entitled to Bereavement Support Payment — a tax-free lump sum of up to £3,500 plus monthly instalments — provided you claim within 3 months to receive the full amount.[7]GOV.UK
You don't have to do this aloneGrief support across the UK
Grief is not a problem to be solved — it is the natural response to losing someone you love, and it can come in waves for months or years. NICE recognises bereavement counselling as an evidence-based intervention when grief becomes prolonged or disabling.
If your sleep, appetite or work has been affected for more than a few weeks, speak to your GP — and reach out to one of the free, qualified services below.[15]Cruse
Living with griefWhat grief can feel like, and what may help
There is no correct way to grieve
Grief can bring shock, numbness, exhaustion, anger, relief, guilt, tearfulness or nothing at all, sometimes changing hour by hour. None of these reactions means somebody is grieving wrongly.
It often comes in waves rather than tidy stages, and can return on anniversaries, birthdays and ordinary days. There is no timetable and no requirement to “move on”.
How grief can affect the body
Disturbed sleep, appetite changes, chest tightness, headaches, forgetfulness and difficulty concentrating are common after a death.
Speak to a GP if physical symptoms are severe or persistent, if an existing condition is worsening, or if you are unable to manage everyday life for more than a few weeks.
When to ask for more help
Consider asking a GP or a bereavement service for extra support if you feel unable to function week after week, are using alcohol or drugs to cope, feel unsafe, cannot care for children or dependants, or feel completely alone with it.
Asking for support early is not an over-reaction, and bereavement counselling is not only for people in crisis.
Mental Health Support and Getting Help →Sudden, unexpected or traumatic deaths
A sudden death, an accident, a death by suicide, a death abroad or a death involving the police or a coroner can add shock, unanswered questions and long waits for information.
It is reasonable to ask who your point of contact is, what happens next and when you will be updated. Specialist bereavement services exist for particular kinds of loss, so ask what is available near you.
Grief and loneliness
Contact often reduces after the first few weeks, when the loss can feel heaviest. Peer groups, befriending and local activities can help without any pressure to talk about the death.
Loneliness and Social Isolation →Children and young people
Children often grieve in short bursts between ordinary play, and may ask the same questions repeatedly. Simple, honest language usually helps more than protective phrases such as “gone to sleep”.
Tell the school or college what has happened and ask what pastoral support is available. Anyone under 19 can call Childline free on 0800 1111.
Child Bereavement UK support →If you were the person's carer
When caring ends, exhaustion, loss of routine and loss of purpose can arrive alongside grief. Support for carers does not stop the day the caring stops.
Carers and Caring for Someone →Grief at work and telling other people
Ask your employer about compassionate or bereavement leave, phased return and flexibility for appointments. A short agreed sentence can be helpful when colleagues or neighbours ask questions.
You are not obliged to explain the circumstances of a death to anybody.
Faith, culture and no faith at all
Funeral customs, mourning periods and expectations differ widely, and non-religious ceremonies are equally valid. Funeral directors, celebrants and faith leaders can usually accommodate specific requirements if you ask early.
Burial grounds, cemeteries and crematoriums
Find local burial grounds, natural burial sites and crematoriums, and the questions to ask before booking.
Burial Grounds, Cemeteries and Crematoriums →The death of a pet
Grief after an animal dies is real, and often minimised by other people. Support is available for this too.
Pet Bereavement →If something went wrong with someone's care
If you have concerns about the care somebody received, you can ask questions and complain. Complaint routes differ across England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, and an advocate can help you be heard.
Supporting somebody who is bereaved
Say the person’s name, listen without trying to fix the feelings, and offer something specific such as a lift, a meal or a regular telephone call.
Keep in touch after the funeral, when practical help usually falls away. Avoid comparisons and timetables.
Free helplinesIf you need to talk right now
- If a death has just happened at homeGOV.UK / GP
111 · 24/7
If the death was expected, call the person's GP or out-of-hours service. If unexpected, call 999. Do not move the person until you are told to.
0808 808 1677 · Mon–Fri (extended hours Tue–Thu)
Free confidential grief support for adults and children across England, Wales and Northern Ireland.
- SamaritansSamaritans
116 123 · 24/7, free
If grief feels unbearable or you are having thoughts of suicide.
Trusted organisationsTrusted organisations and further support
Bereavement organisations in the UK
- Tell Us Once — official website (opens in a new tab)
GOV.UK / DWP
A free government service that lets you report a death to most government departments (HMRC, DWP, DVLA, Passport Office, local council) in one go. The registrar gives you a unique reference when you register the death.
- Child Bereavement UK — official website (opens in a new tab)
Child Bereavement UK
0800 02 888 40 · Mon–Fri 9am–5pm
Support for families when a baby or child of any age dies, and for bereaved children, young people and their families.
- Sue Ryder Online Bereavement Counselling — official website (opens in a new tab)
Sue Ryder
Free video counselling with qualified bereavement counsellors, plus an online community.
- WAY (Widowed and Young) — official website (opens in a new tab)
WAY
Peer-to-peer support for anyone widowed aged 50 or under.
- AtaLoss — official website (opens in a new tab)
AtaLoss
UK-wide signposting site to find bereavement services local to you.
- Marie Curie Bereavement Support Line — official website (opens in a new tab)
Marie Curie
0800 090 2309 · Mon–Fri 8am–6pm, Sat 11am–5pm
Free emotional and practical support after the death of someone close.
These organisations are independent of Sixpence Support UK. Their inclusion is for information and signposting and does not imply a partnership or endorsement.
Need help putting something in writing?
Sixpence Support UK can help you prepare a clear, respectful letter, email or complaint — for example to a bank, an energy supplier, a landlord, a council or a health service — when you are dealing with paperwork after a death.
Request letter or complaint help →Important note
Sixpence Support UK provides general information and help finding services. We do not provide legal, tax, probate or medical advice, counselling or emergency intervention. Rules, fees and processes differ across England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland and can change, so check the official source before acting. External organisations listed here are independent of Sixpence Support UK.
Information and links checked: September 2026.
- [1] GOV.UK. What to do when someone dies: step by step · 2024
- [2] GOV.UK. Register a death · 2024
- [3] GOV.UK. Applying for probate · 2024
- [4] GOV.UK. Make a will · 2024
- [5] GOV.UK / OPG. Make, register or end a lasting power of attorney · 2024
- [6] GOV.UK. Inheritance Tax · 2024
- [7] GOV.UK. Bereavement Support Payment · 2024
- [8] NAFD. National Association of Funeral Directors — find a funeral director · 2024
- [9] SAIF. National Society of Allied & Independent Funeral Directors · 2024
- [10] CMA. Funerals Market Investigation Order 2021 — price transparency rules · 2021
- [11] NHS. What to do after someone dies (this page is no longer available online) · 2023
- [12] Citizens Advice. What to do after a death · 2024
- [13] Money Helper (MaPS). Sorting out the estate when there isn't a will · 2024
- [14] Law Society. Find a solicitor (wills & probate) · 2024
- [15] Cruse Bereavement Support. Practical and emotional support after a death · 2024
