Carers and Caring for Someone

An unpaid carer is anybody who gives regular help to a person who could not manage without it, because of illness, disability, a mental-health condition, frailty, addiction or the effects of an accident.

You do not need a formal label, a diagnosis for the other person or a minimum number of hours. Many people care alongside work, study or bringing up children.

Help may include washing, dressing, meals, medicines, lifting or moving, appointments, transport, shopping, laundry, money and paperwork, emotional support, keeping somebody safe, or being on call through the night.

Practical tasks and constant watchfulness are both demanding. Support is not only for people doing physical care.

Common effects include tiredness, disturbed sleep, back and joint pain, anxiety, low mood, guilt, resentment, isolation, lost income and neglected health appointments.

These are ordinary reactions to a demanding role, not a sign of weakness. Your own health matters in its own right.

Tell your own GP surgery that you are a carer and ask to be added to its carers register. Some surgeries offer flexible appointments, health checks or vaccination information for carers, although what is available differs by surgery.

Ask the person’s hospital, care service or social worker to record you as their carer, so you are kept informed within the limits of that person’s confidentiality.

A carer’s assessment is a conversation about your caring role, your own health and what you need. It is separate from any assessment of the person you look after, and you can ask for one even if that person refuses help for themselves.

Support that follows may include equipment, help at home for the other person, help with transport, replacement care, a direct payment or a small carer’s grant. What is offered depends on your circumstances and local arrangements, and some services carry a charge after a financial assessment.

• Keep a diary for a week: tasks, times, nights disturbed.
• Note anything you have had to give up, such as work, sleep or your own appointments.
• Say plainly what would happen if you could not care for a week.
• List the two or three changes that would help most.
• Ask for a written record of the outcome and how to ask for a review.

A break might be a few hours a week, a sitting service, a day service, short-term care in a care home, or replacement care so you can attend your own appointments.

Availability, cost and waiting times vary widely. Ask the council or trust what is possible in your area and whether any charge applies.

Write a short plan covering who to contact, the person’s medicines and conditions, key routines, who has keys and what should happen if you are suddenly ill.

Ask the council, trust or local carers’ centre whether an emergency carers’ card or a registered emergency plan is available where you live.

Never risk your back. Ask for a moving-and-handling assessment before lifting somebody regularly, and ask about hoists, bed rails, grab rails, ramps or bathroom changes.

Ask for the decision and the reasons in writing, ask which criteria were applied, and ask how to request a review or make a complaint. An advocate can help you put your views across.

Carer’s Allowance is a benefit for people who spend a substantial number of hours each week caring for somebody who receives certain disability benefits. There are earnings and study rules, and it can affect other benefits, including those of the person you care for.

Carer’s Credit can help protect your National Insurance record when you care but do not qualify for Carer’s Allowance. Check the official rules and current amounts before relying on either.

Depending on your circumstances there may be help with council tax, energy costs, health-cost schemes, travel costs or local welfare assistance. Always get a full benefits check before making changes, because one award can affect another.

Employees in Great Britain and, separately, in Northern Ireland have rights to request flexible working, and there is a statutory unpaid Carer’s Leave entitlement for employees with caring responsibilities. Check the current rules for where you work.

It can help to explain to your employer what you need rather than only that you are a carer: for example predictable hours, a private space for calls, or notice of shift changes.

If the person you care for cannot manage their own money or decisions, there are legal arrangements for this, and the rules differ across the four UK nations. Do not assume a relative automatically has authority.

Capacity is decision-specific and must never be assumed absent because somebody is disabled or makes an unwise choice.

Children and young people who help look after a parent, sibling or other relative can ask for support in their own right. Speak to a trusted adult, a school or college wellbeing or safeguarding member of staff, a GP or the local young carers’ service.

Anyone under 19 can call Childline free on 0800 1111 at any time, or use its online chat.

Parents caring for a disabled child or a child with additional needs can ask the council or trust about assessments for the child and for themselves, short breaks and support at school.

Ask the GP or memory service about assessment, medication reviews, safety at home, driving, and planning ahead while the person can take part in decisions.

Behaviour that is hard to manage often has a cause such as pain, infection, thirst, noise or confusion. Ask for a professional review rather than coping alone.

Ask whether you can be involved in care planning, what to do if things deteriorate, and who to contact out of hours. Confidentiality may limit what services can tell you, but they can still hear your concerns.

Hospice and palliative-care teams support the person and the people close to them, often including practical advice, symptom control and bereavement support afterwards.

Before somebody is discharged, ask what care is arranged, what you are being expected to do and whether you have agreed to it. You cannot be required to provide care you cannot manage.

When caring ends, through recovery, a move into a care home or a death, it is common to feel loss, exhaustion and loss of purpose. Support is still available to you.

Caring relationships can involve harm in either direction, including violence, controlling behaviour or financial abuse. This is never something to manage alone.

Ask the adult social-care team at your council for a carer’s assessment, and ask your GP surgery to record you as a carer. Local carers’ centres often provide advice, groups and help with forms.

Carers in Scotland can ask their council or a local carer centre about an adult carer support plan, or a young carer statement for young carers. Carer’s Allowance for people in Scotland is administered through Social Security Scotland arrangements, so check current official information.

Ask your council for a carer’s needs assessment under Welsh social-care law, and use Dewis Cymru to look for local wellbeing services.

Health and social care is arranged through Health and Social Care Trusts rather than councils. Ask your trust about a carer’s assessment and local carer support. England-only routes and rules do not apply.