Teenagers and Young People — Help With Life, School and Family Problems

It is written for teenagers and young adults, and for parents, carers, relatives, teachers, youth workers and anybody else supporting a young person. Sections written mainly for adults are grouped near the end and clearly labelled.

It does not assume that you live with parents, that home is safe, that you attend a mainstream school, that English is the main language at home, or that you have a phone and private internet access. Where that matters, alternatives are given.

Trust that feeling. You do not need proof, a diagnosis or a name for what is happening. If something is frightening you, hurting you, making you dread each day or making you feel unsafe, that is reason enough to tell somebody.

Write down what has been happening, even in a few words. It makes the first conversation much easier, and it helps you remember dates.

Most people who ask for help do not know what they need. You can start by describing the effect rather than the cause: "I cannot sleep", "I dread school", "I cannot stop worrying", "something happened online".

Childline, The Mix and a local youth information, advice and counselling service can help you work out what kind of support fits. Youth Access lists these local services, which are usually for ages 11 to 25 and often accept a young person contacting them directly.

A trusted adult is somebody who listens, takes you seriously and does not make you feel small. It could be a parent or carer, but it could also be a grandparent, aunt, uncle, older sibling, teacher, form tutor, school safeguarding lead, school nurse, GP, social worker, youth worker, faith leader, advocate or police officer.

Pick somebody by how they have behaved before, not by their job title. If the first person does not listen, that is about them, not about you. Tell somebody else.

Choose a time when the other person is not rushing. Say at the start what you need from them: to listen, to help you make a phone call, or to come with you somewhere.

Side-by-side conversations are often easier than face to face — walking, driving, washing up. You can also start by text or a note and talk later.

You can borrow any of these:

• "Something is happening and I don't know how to explain it."
• "I need you to listen before asking me questions."
• "I don't feel safe."
• "I'm struggling to cope and I need help."
• "I'm worried about something that happened online."
• "Can I write it down instead of saying it?"
• "I want another adult with me while we talk."
• "I'm worried you will be angry, but I need to tell you something."

You can show these words on your phone, hand over a note, or point to the sentence that fits. You do not have to say them out loud.

Writing gives you control. You choose the order, you can stop, and you do not have to watch somebody's reaction while you speak.

Keep it simple: what happened, when it started, who else knows, and what you would like to happen next. If you are worried somebody may read your phone, use paper, or a device you trust, such as one at school, a library or a friend's house.

Many young people worry about being blamed, not believed, punished, losing their phone, or upsetting the family. Sometimes a parent reacts badly at first and better later.

You do not have to tell a parent first. You can tell another trusted adult, contact Childline, or speak to somebody at school. If you want a parent told but cannot face doing it, ask another adult to be there or to help you say it.

Not every home is safe, and not every parent is the safest adult. If you are being hurt, frightened, threatened or neglected at home, tell somebody outside the house — a teacher, the school safeguarding lead, a GP, a social worker, the police or Childline.

In an emergency call 999. An adult who is worried about a child can also contact the NSPCC helpline or children's social care at the local council.

Most conversations with a counsellor, nurse, GP or youth worker are confidential. But nobody can promise total secrecy. If an adult believes you or another person is at serious risk of harm, they may have to pass information on to keep somebody safe.

You can ask, before you start: "What would make you have to tell somebody else?" A good professional will answer honestly, tell you if they need to share something, and try to involve you in what happens next. Confidentiality rules and age limits differ across the UK and between services.

Friendship groups change a lot between 13 and 20, and that can hurt even when nobody has done anything wrong. Arguments are normal; repeated cruelty is not.

Try to separate a one-off row from a pattern. If somebody keeps humiliating you, controlling who you speak to, or turning a group against you, that is closer to bullying than to a disagreement.

Loneliness is common among young people and is not a sign of failure. It often eases through shared activity rather than through trying harder socially — a club, a team, volunteering, a course, a group with a purpose.

Wanting to belong is normal. Pressure becomes a problem when the price is your safety, your money, your body, the law or your self-respect.

Useful exits: blame something dull ("my mum checks my bag"), delay ("not tonight"), leave without announcing it, or agree a code word with a trusted adult who will collect you with no questions asked until later.

Bullying is repeated behaviour intended to hurt, frighten or exclude. Every school should have a behaviour or anti-bullying policy, and you can ask for a copy.

Report it to a teacher you trust, then in writing if nothing changes. Keep a record of each incident: date, time, place, what happened, who saw it, and what the school did.

Group chats can turn quickly. Before you leave a chat, save what you need: screenshots with the date, names and the message visible. Then mute or leave, and block accounts that are abusing you.

Report the content to the platform, and tell an adult at school if the people involved are from school — schools can act on behaviour that affects pupils even when it happens online. Report threats of violence to the police.

Being unable to get into school is usually a sign that something else is wrong: anxiety, bullying, a sensory or health need, an unmet learning need, or something happening at home. Punishment alone rarely fixes it.

Ask for a meeting with the school to look at the reasons and at practical adjustments — a late start, a safe base, a reduced timetable, help at break times, or support from the school nurse. Attendance rules and what counts as an authorised absence differ across England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, so ask the school and the local authority what applies. We cannot tell you whether an absence will be authorised.

Exam stress becomes a problem when it stops you sleeping, eating or working at all. Small, timed sessions with breaks beat long unfocused hours, and past papers beat re-reading notes.

Tell the school if pressure is affecting your health. Exam access arrangements exist for some disabilities and health conditions, and they have to be requested in advance. There is more than one route to almost every career, and one set of results does not close everything down.

If you feel a teacher has treated you unfairly, ask calmly for the reason and for the policy it is based on. Take a parent, carer or advocate to any meeting where a punishment or exclusion is being discussed.

If it is not resolved informally, use the school's formal complaints procedure. The routes differ by nation: in England GOV.UK explains complaining about a state school and then to the Department for Education; in Scotland complaints about a school go to the local authority and then the Scottish Public Services Ombudsman; in Wales the Welsh Government sets out how school complaints procedures must work; in Northern Ireland nidirect explains going to the principal, then the board of governors, then the Northern Ireland Public Services Ombudsman.

A safeguarding concern or a suspected crime should never be left to an ordinary complaints process. Tell the safeguarding lead or the police as well.

Support in education has different names across the UK: SEND in England, additional support needs in Scotland, additional learning needs in Wales, and special educational needs in Northern Ireland. Schools and colleges also have duties to make reasonable adjustments for disabled pupils and students.

You can ask what support is already in place, ask for it in writing, and ask for a meeting to review it. An advocate or a parent can go with you.

You do not need a diagnosis to be given support. Schools, colleges and employers can make adjustments based on need — quiet spaces, extra time, written instructions, ear defenders, movement breaks, clear routines.

Waiting lists for assessment are long in many areas. Ask what help is available meanwhile, and keep a written record of the difficulties you notice, which is useful whenever the assessment happens.

Moving school, moving year group, moving home or leaving school unsettles most people for a while. Ask for a named person at the new place, a tour before you start, and a written plan for any support you already receive so it travels with you.

Mental health changes over time for everybody. Ordinary things help more than they sound like they should: sleep, food, daylight, movement, and one person who knows how you actually are.

If something has lasted for weeks, is getting worse, or is stopping you living your life, ask for help from a GP, your school or college, or a young people's service.

Anxiety is the body's alarm system firing when there is no emergency. Panic feels dangerous but is not, and it peaks and passes. Slow breathing out for longer than you breathe in, naming five things you can see, and cold water on your hands can all help in the moment.

If anxiety is stopping you attending school, going out or sleeping, tell a GP or your school. Talking therapies for young people exist in every UK nation, though the referral routes and age limits differ locally.

Low mood that lasts, flatness, losing interest in things you used to like, sleeping much more or much less, and feeling worthless are worth telling a GP about. Depression in young people often shows as irritability or exhaustion rather than sadness.

Anger is often the outside of fear, shame or unfairness. It becomes a problem when it damages people, property or your future.

Leaving the room before you speak is not weakness. Afterwards, say what you were actually angry about. If anger is frightening you or somebody else, tell a GP, a youth service or your school — this can be worked on.

Comparison is built into most social media feeds. Filters, editing and paid promotion mean you are usually comparing yourself with something that does not exist.

Reducing the accounts that make you feel worse, and spending time where you are judged on what you do rather than how you look, both help. If how you feel about your body is dominating your thoughts, tell a GP.

Eating disorders affect people of every gender, body shape and background, and they are treatable. You do not need to be a certain weight to deserve help. Warning signs include rigid rules about food, secrecy, over-exercising, and fear of eating with others.

Speak to a GP as early as you can, and contact Beat for support and information for you or for somebody who cares about you. Beat offers phone lines, one-to-one webchat and separate email addresses for England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. Check its own pages for the current numbers and opening times before you call.

Self-harm is usually a way of coping with feelings that seem unbearable, not attention seeking. If you are hurt, get the injury treated — that is a normal medical need, and you are allowed to ask for it without being judged.

Telling one person is the single most useful step. A GP can help, and Childline and Samaritans will talk to you without lecturing you. This page does not give methods or instructions of any kind.

If you are thinking about ending your life, tell somebody now. Call 999 or go to A&E if you have harmed yourself or feel you cannot keep yourself safe.

Samaritans is free on 116 123, 24 hours a day. You can text SHOUT to 85258 free at any time. Under 19s can call Childline on 0800 1111. In Northern Ireland, Lifeline is free on 0808 808 8000, 24 hours, for people of all ages.

Teenage body clocks genuinely run later, so early starts are harder. What helps most is a consistent wake-up time, daylight in the morning, and keeping the phone out of reach for the last part of the evening.

If you are exhausted every day despite trying, tell a GP. Sleep problems can be linked to anxiety, low mood, pain or a health condition.

When parents separate, it is not your fault and it is not your job to fix it, take sides or carry messages between them. You are allowed to love both and to say when something feels unfair.

Tell one adult outside the situation how it is affecting you. School can adjust deadlines and keep an eye on you if they know.

Living with a relative who is seriously ill, disabled or using alcohol or drugs can be frightening, tiring and lonely, and it can make home unpredictable.

None of it is your responsibility, and it is not disloyal to get help. A young carers service, your school, a GP or a youth service can support you while still supporting your family.

Grief is not a series of neat stages. It comes in waves, it can arrive months later, and laughing does not mean you have stopped caring.

Tell school or college, so nobody misreads a bad day. Bereavement support exists specifically for children and young people in every UK nation.

If you look after a parent, sibling or relative — cooking, cleaning, giving medicines, translating, comforting or supervising — you are a young carer, even if nobody has used that word.

You can ask the local council or trust for a young carer's assessment, and there are young carers services with breaks and activities. Tell school: many have a named person for young carers and can adjust homework deadlines.

A healthy relationship feels safe, equal and free. Warning signs include checking your phone, controlling what you wear or who you see, constant jealousy, threats, humiliation, pressure for images or sex, and blaming you for their behaviour.

Age difference matters: an older partner who wants secrecy from your family is a serious concern. Abuse in a young person's relationship is still abuse, and specialist services help under-18s.

Consent means freely agreeing, with the ability to choose, and being able to change your mind at any time. Silence is not consent, and neither is agreeing because you feel scared, drunk or worn down.

If somebody has done something sexual to you without your consent, it is not your fault, no matter what you were wearing, drinking or saying. You can tell the police, a trusted adult, a sexual health service or Childline, and you can get support without reporting.

Sexual health services, GPs and pharmacies provide confidential advice, contraception and testing to young people. Confidentiality has limits where there is a serious safeguarding concern, and staff will explain that.

It is not true that a parent must be told about every healthcare conversation, and it is not true that a young person can always use every service without any parental involvement. It depends on the service, the situation and your age, so ask at the start.

If you think you may be pregnant, a GP, pharmacy or sexual health service can arrange a test and talk through all the options with you confidentially, without pushing you towards any of them.

Getting information early gives you more choices. You can take somebody with you, and you can ask to speak to a female or male member of staff.

There is no deadline for working out who you are, and no obligation to tell anybody before you are ready. You are allowed to be uncertain.

If you are being harassed or abused because of your sexuality or gender identity, that is not something you have to accept. The Proud Trust supports LGBT+ young people and youth groups, and Galop runs a national helpline for LGBT+ people experiencing abuse or violence on 0800 999 5428 — check its website for current opening times.

Online friendships can be real and valuable. The risk is not the internet itself, it is secrecy, flattery, gifts, pressure and being moved into a private chat.

If you ever plan to meet somebody you met online, tell an adult where and when, meet in a busy public place in daylight, take somebody with you, and keep your own way home. Anybody who wants that kept secret is the problem.

Nobody has the right to pressure you into sending images, and nobody has the right to share an image of you. If it has already happened, you are not in trouble for being a victim of it.

Do not forward the image to anybody, including to prove what happened. Tell a trusted adult, and report threats to the police. If somebody is threatening to share images unless you send more, pay money or meet them, stop replying and tell an adult or the police straight away.

Report Remove is a free service run by Childline and the Internet Watch Foundation for young people under 18 in the UK. You set up a Childline account, confirm your age, and report the image so the IWF can work to have it removed and blocked.

Nobody can promise that content is removed everywhere or forever, but this is the proper route and it often works. Never download, keep or repeatedly screenshot images of a child or young person — use Report Remove instead, and report child sexual abuse material to the IWF.

Grooming usually starts with attention, gifts, lifts, alcohol, vapes, money or somewhere to hang out, and moves on to secrecy, isolation and then demands. It happens online and in person, to boys and girls, and often by somebody the young person likes.

It is never the young person's fault, even if they went willingly, kept it secret or took money. Report it to the police or CEOP, and tell a safeguarding lead or social worker.

If you are asked to hold, move or deliver a package, a phone or money, you are being used and you are the one at risk. Debts, threats and "favours" are the usual hooks.

You can get out, and there is support to help you. Fearless lets young people pass information about crime anonymously, and SafeCall supports young people and families affected by exploitation and going missing.

Honest information helps more than scare stories. Talk to FRANK gives plain facts about drugs and what to do in an emergency, and is free on 0300 123 6600.

If somebody is unconscious, struggling to breathe, having a seizure or cannot be woken, call 999 and say what they have taken. Nobody gets in trouble for saving a life. This page does not give doses or medical instructions.

Loot boxes, in-game purchases, betting-style apps and trading can all cost far more than planned and can become compulsive. Warning signs include chasing losses, hiding spending and borrowing to keep going.

The National Gambling Helpline is free on 0808 8020 133 and is available 24 hours a day, and it supports young people and families too.

If somebody offers you money to receive a payment and pass it on, that is money muling. It is a criminal offence, your account can be closed, and it can affect your ability to get an account, a loan or some jobs for years.

Never give anybody your card, PIN, banking app access or one-time passcode. Offers of easy money for "using your account", fake job adverts and cryptocurrency promises are the common traps.

If money is short at home, there is help that does not depend on you sorting it out: free school meals, school clothing grants, help with travel, food banks and local welfare schemes. The names and rules differ in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.

Young people aged 16 or over may be able to claim some benefits in their own right in certain circumstances. Get advice before making a claim, because it can affect a family's payments.

There are legal limits on the hours and types of work for people of school age, and many councils require a work permit. GOV.UK sets out the rules for England and Wales, and Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own arrangements through councils and trusts.

You are entitled to at least the National Minimum Wage for your age, and to a payslip. Check the current rates on GOV.UK, because they change each April.

Sofa surfing counts as homelessness. If you are 16 or 17 and have nowhere safe to stay, contact the council's housing team and children's services — both have duties towards you, and you should be given somewhere safe rather than left on the street.

Centrepoint's helpline is free on 0808 800 0661, Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm, for people aged 16 to 25 in England. Shelter's emergency helpline for England is 0808 800 4444. Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland have their own services: Shelter Scotland, Shelter Cymru and Simon Community NI.

If you are in care you have the right to be heard in decisions about your life, and to an independent advocate. NYAS runs a freephone advocacy helpline on 0808 808 1001, and Coram Voice's Always Heard helpline is 0808 800 5792.

Leaving care brings specific rights to support, a personal adviser and help with housing, education and money, and the arrangements differ across the UK. Become's Care Advice Line is free on 0800 023 2033. Who Cares? Scotland's helpline is 0330 107 7540, Monday to Friday 12 noon to 4pm. In Northern Ireland VOYPIC can be reached on 028 9024 4888. In Wales, Meic is free on 0808 80 23456 and open from 8am to midnight, every day.

If you are arrested or interviewed as a suspect while under 18, you are entitled to free legal advice and to have an appropriate adult with you. Ask for both, and do not answer questions about the allegation until the solicitor arrives.

Being a witness or a victim is different: you can ask for support, and there are special measures for young witnesses. We cannot give legal advice on any individual case.

Abuse aimed at your race, religion, disability, sexuality or gender identity can be reported to the police whether or not it turns out to be a criminal offence, and schools and colleges should act on it too.

Repeated unwanted contact — following, messaging from new accounts, showing up where you are, contacting your friends about you — is harassment or stalking, including when it comes from somebody your own age or an ex-partner.

Keep a dated record where it is safe to do so, do not confront the person, and report it. The law differs between England and Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland.

You can register with a GP yourself, and you can ask to be seen without a parent in the room. Write down your three main questions before the appointment, because it is easy to forget them.

Pharmacies can help with many things without an appointment. Use NHS 111 (or NHS 24 on 111 in Scotland) when you are unsure and it is not an emergency.

Around 16 to 18, health, mental-health, disability and social-care services often change over to adult teams. This should be planned in advance, with a named person and a written plan.

Ask early: who will I see, when does it change, what happens to my current support, and what do I do if there is a gap? Take an advocate or a parent to transition meetings.

At 18 you can normally sign contracts, take on credit, hold a tenancy and make your own healthcare decisions. That freedom comes with responsibility: contracts, debts and rental agreements are hard to undo.

Read before you sign, never sign for somebody else, and get free advice from Citizens Advice or an equivalent service before agreeing to anything expensive.

There is no single right path, and changing course is normal. Apprenticeships, college courses, traineeships, employment with training and university all lead somewhere.

Careers services exist in every nation and are free. Ask about financial support: bursaries, travel help, care-experienced support and disability support all exist but usually have to be applied for.

A long wait does not mean nothing can help now. Ask what is available while you wait, who to contact if things get worse, and whether you can be reviewed sooner.

Meanwhile: Childline, Samaritans, Shout, a local youth counselling service, school or college support, and free self-help resources such as the stem4 apps. Kooth is available in many areas but not everywhere — it is commissioned locally, so check whether it covers your area and age.

You can listen, sit with somebody and go with them to get help. You cannot be their therapist, and you should not promise to keep a secret that involves somebody being seriously hurt.

If your friend is in danger, tell an adult even if they asked you not to — being safe matters more than being popular. Then get support for yourself; hearing frightening things is heavy.

You do not need the right words. Being steady, available and unshockable matters far more. Short, frequent, low-pressure contact works better than one big conversation.

The YoungMinds Parents Helpline is free on 0808 802 5544, open 9.30am to 4pm on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays and 9.30am to 6pm on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, with a webchat and an email option. It advises parents and carers and signposts to services; it is not a counselling service for young people and it does not arrange NHS referrals for you.

Consider a change from their normal, lasting more than a couple of weeks: withdrawal, dropping activities, sleep or appetite changes, falling grades, unexplained injuries, secrecy about a phone, new expensive items, missing money, avoiding school, or sudden new friendships with older people.

None of these alone proves anything. Together, or alongside a change in mood, they are worth a gentle conversation and a word with school or a GP.

Reactions land harder than content. Try: thank them for telling you, do not interrogate, do not promise secrecy you cannot keep, do not remove their phone as a first response, and do not make it about your feelings in that moment.

Ask "what would help right now?" and agree the next step together. If you have to pass information on to keep them safe, tell them you are doing it and why.

Call 999 or go to A&E if a young person has seriously harmed themselves, has taken an overdose, cannot be kept safe, or is in immediate danger.

For urgent but not life-threatening mental-health help: in England use NHS 111 and its mental-health option; in Scotland call NHS 24 on 111; in Wales call 111 and press option 2, which NHS Wales states is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week across Wales; in Northern Ireland call Lifeline free on 0808 808 8000, 24 hours, or use the nidirect crisis page. A GP and, in term time, the school or college are also routes in.

Coram Family Lives runs a confidential helpline on 0808 800 2222, open Monday to Friday 9am to 9pm and at weekends 10am to 3pm, covering England and Wales. In Scotland, Children 1st Parentline is free on 08000 28 22 33. In Northern Ireland, Parenting NI offers support to parents, and Family Support NI is the official directory of local family services.

Contact supports families with disabled children across the UK, for children and young people aged 0 to 25, on 0808 808 3555, Monday to Friday 9.30am to 5pm. In Wales, Meic is a free information and advocacy service for children and young people up to 25 on 0808 80 23456, open 8am to midnight every day.

• Write down what is happening, with dates, somewhere private and safe.
• Choose one adult you trust and tell them one sentence.
• If you cannot speak, write it, text it or show them words on a screen.
• Ask what will happen next, and who else will be told.
• Save what you need from online before blocking anybody.
• Call 999 if anybody is in immediate danger.
• Contact Childline on 0800 1111 if you want to talk to somebody outside it all.
• Ask for support at school in writing, and keep a copy.
• Tell somebody if the first person did not listen.
• Look after the basics: sleep, food, daylight, one person who knows.

• Listen first; thank them for telling you.
• Write down what you were told, with the date, in their words where you can.
• Ask what they want to happen next, then agree the first step together.
• Contact the GP, and the school's safeguarding lead if school is involved.
• Use 999 or A&E for immediate danger; use the urgent NHS route for your nation otherwise.
• Put requests to school or services in writing and keep copies.
• Ask about advocacy so the young person is heard in meetings.
• Ask what is available while you wait for a service.
• Get support for yourself as well — the YoungMinds Parents Helpline advises adults.
• Keep the door open even if the first conversation goes badly.

Prefer the NHS, official government sites for your nation, and established national charities. Check the organisation's own website for current numbers and opening times — directories go out of date, and services close or change.

Be careful with services that promise a quick cure, charge for something the NHS provides free, or ask for personal details before telling you what they do. If you are unsure, ask a GP, school or Citizens Advice.